Not As Much..

For I while now we have been trying to be ethically and environmentally conscious when  buying stuff. And quite frankly I am starting to get a little !@#)* off. For a number of reasons:

1) the stuff with the words ethical or environmentally friendly written on it costs 3 times the other stuff. Who can afford organic bananas at $15 a kilo when the other stalls in the market have the unorganic versions for $1.99.

You really cant tell me there is that much difference in the amount it costs to make the organic products

2) Organic and ethical chocolate tastes terrible not to mention it is about 6.00 a 250 gram block

3) I have bought the kids shoes, sock and undies that I know are ethically made and they simply dont last as long. Why is it that shoes made in a factory that I imagine has strict quality control fall to to bits after 1 month and those that were likley to be made by a child slave in china last 6 months

I was in Tas recently visiting family and friends an was reading the local paper and I must say it resonated with how I feel. Dont get me wrong I will continue to make decisions about what I buy responsibly but anyway one letter to the author was as follows

    ” I was recently watching the opening of the Olympic games and as I watched thousands of fireworks go off I threw another log on my meager fire and thought bugger my carbon footprint”

We went to a church with high expectations this am. How wrong we were! It was the same old formula and the same old “fake gospel” that drives me nuts. The type that promises that God will always bless us if we stop winging, tithe and believe, and by blessing they mean financial abundance of course.

I am sad, disappointed and discouraged and desperate for some real Christians to hang out with.

Have we got it wrong? Is this really what  God wants- a bunch a middle class people with their Sunday smiles on jumping and clapping and waving their hands and proclaiming this and that? Singing about dancing on injustice and being sold out for “Him” as they conclude their Sunday with an array of biscuits, chocolate and cake, coffee and drive back to their middle class homes feeling like they have done their bit for God this week

One of the leaders talked about partnering with someone this week. Yes my heart screams that is what I want what I have always wanted someone who is older and wiser who will listen to my struggles without using Christian platitudes or stupid prosperity nonsense who will simply love me, drink tea with me and read scripture with me.  Trouble is I wouldnt “partner” with any of the makeup wearing seemingly bright shiny woman there.  They are all smiles and kisses but I can hear the christianese flowing from their pores.

I am lost and confused. What to do? I want to go to church, I want to spend time with other believers but when I do I want to run away as soon as I get there.  Should I suck it up and spend time with these people because at least it is someone? I ignored my heart before and if you have read any of my blog you can see where that got me.